


Good Method, Actual Results May Vary

by MsJackofAllFandoms



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Freddie has the patience of a saint, Humour, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sulking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:26:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27559060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsJackofAllFandoms/pseuds/MsJackofAllFandoms
Summary: It starts off with Brian and Roger not talking.Freddie tries to fix the situation.There's some tense negotiations.And then John Deacon gets involved.
Relationships: Brian May/Roger Taylor
Comments: 11
Kudos: 22





	Good Method, Actual Results May Vary

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what this is, i'm so sorry.

Freddie, finally unable to cope any longer with this ridiculousness, grabbed Brian’s arm and dragged him over to the drummer and gave him a pointed nod. A pointed nod which was determinedly ignored. He turned to Roger, hoping to appeal the drummer’s curious nature, but was shut down by Roger’s excellently timed need to tune his drums.

He waited for the drummer to pop his head back up and turned to Brian, and hoping he was successfully channelling all of his female ancestors who had to put up with the unruly children in their family, pointed to Roger.

That was also ignored. 

“Now.”

Brain opened his mouth, about to protest but Freddie doubled down on the raised eyebrow and glare he was giving him. 

“Fine,” Brain sighed, “Roger, would you like to go on a date with me this Friday?” He asked, with all the maturity of a thirteen year old boy who’d been told by his parents to ask a younger sibling to join in on the game of football he was about to play or go without pudding. 

“I suppose.” Roger replied, as if he was being put out by the very notion. “Where are we going? Not the bloody Glass House.” 

The ‘ _bloody Glass House_ ’ was a nice, clean, brand new boujie restaurant Brian had been solely invited to by the restaurant’s owner. The owner said it was because he knew Brian was a vegetarian, and wanted him to try his vegetarian meals. _Some people_ got the impression the invitation had something to do with the 24 year old daughter, recently back home from a research project on light pollution of all things, but even if it did, Brian was not interested. 

“You can choose, if you like. As long as there’s a vegetarian option.”

Roger shrugged. “Okay.”

Brain sighed this time. “Great. Should I pick-”

“No!” Roger snapped. 

“Okay…”

“I’m picking _you_ up, 7 O clock.”

Brian nodded obligingly. “Okay.” 

Freddie clapped and even threw a smile to Deaky, who had been sitting in the corner, unimpressed as he watched this all unfold. “Wonderful, now that’s all sorted-”

“What flowers do you want?” Roger asked, as if he had been personally tasked with going to a far off field and hand picking them himself. 

Brain was taken aback. “Er. Flowers? Um.” he looked at Freddie for help.

“You like roses and carnations, dear.”

Brain smiled, and it would have looked genuinely if not for his eyes. “Sunflowers.”

Roger snorted. “You are such a- fine. Sunflowers it is.”

“And now that’s all sorted-” Freddie tried again. And failed.

Roger pointed his drumstick at Brian’s chest. “And don’t wear a bloody tie or I’ll cut it off!”

Brian shrugged. “No tie. Wear that blue shirt, it’ll go with your eyes.” Said Brian, in the same tone one might say “Don’t come crying to me if you fall off that cliff and break your neck.”

“As long as you wear that embroidered shirt.” Roger replied, in much of the same tone.

Brain nodded. “I can do that.”

“Great. It’s a date.”

“Yes it is.”

Freddie clapped again, all smiles and part fake cheer. “Lovely, darlings! Now let’s- Deaky??? “

“Be right back.” John said, as he took off his bass and rested it in it’s stand, and walked out of the recording booth to go out into the little communal area where they put their bags and coats.

“Where the fuck’s he going?”

“Your sulking probably drove him off.”

Roger looked at Brian in shock, “My sulking!? You’re the one who-"

“Let’s try and keep the dramatics down to me, thank you, lovies, and let us return to civility.”

With that, Freddie left them where they stood and followed John, but came to a stop at the door way. John was just taking everything out of his rucksack. “Darling, Deaky- what are you doing?”

John looked over his shoulder. “Just looking for something in my bag. It’s okay, Freddie, I’ll just be a few minutes.”

Convinced that their bassist hadn’t been frightened off like all of the rest, Freddie turned around and went back into the studio, and waited in baffled silence with the other two.

Eventually - and Freddie had no idea how much stuff fitted in one bag but that was John Deacon’s organisational skills for you - John returned to the studio with something in both of his hands. 

“Here.” He said, passing the box of condoms to Brian, “And here.” He said, passing a rather familiar (to Freddie) looking bottle to Roger.

Freddie could do nothing but stare, open mouth, speechless at what he’d just witnessed. Poor Brian wasn’t doing much better, with his face going a rather impressive shade of red.

Roger, reading the bottle, almost dropped it as he barked out a laugh, then doubled over in stitches. He almost gave himself a concussion, hitting his head against one of his toms. 

“You just… have these in your bag, Deaky?” Brain asked.

“We’ve corrupted him!” Freddie cried, half in awe and half in dismay.

John shrugged. “Never hurts to be prepared, Bri.” He said, as he put his bass back over his shoulders.

“You’re not even- why would you even need-” He pointed to the bottle in Roger’s hand. Roger, who had just managed to get his laughing fit under control. 

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answers to.” 

As that shut Brian up with a click of his teeth, it made Roger roar with laughter again. There was tears streaming down his face, his spleen was surely threatening to burst with the jostling, and he looked quite short of oxygen. Then he looked at the bottle in his hands and laughed even harder. "Just... in your bag, Deaky!"

Freddie, looking at Brian as he too was starting to crack, conceded that maybe today’s recording session was just not meant to be. 

**Author's Note:**

> Now whether they use those items after their date is entirely up to you to decide.


End file.
